Endure well

There is a world of difference between enduring, and enduring well.

Merely enduring is commonplace. Enduring well is the stuff of greatness.

Life throws trials at all of us. We are all required to pass through difficulty, to endure pain and sorrow, to tackle fear, to suffer heartache. Life is not easy. I’m convinced that it is hard for everyone – each in his or her own way. Even those you think “have it easy” are in fact struggling with life – probably in ways you haven’t yet encountered. Heartache, temptation, injustice, illness, pain, fear, loneliness, longing – they are the common stuff of life. Life wouldn’t be life without them.

As a result, merely enduring trials isn’t remarkable, simply by virtue of the fact that we cannot avoid them. Like it or not me have no choice but to “suffer through them” so to speak. Enduring is industry standard.

So when we’re confronted with what life throws at us, let’s dump the “endurance” mentality for something better. Enduring trials can teach us valuable lessons and bring personal refinement. But enduring well is altogether different.

One of the prime differences hinges on our agency – how we use it. Enduring implies hunkering down, passively weathering the storm. Basically, we let life do its worst, suffering the pain because there’s nothing we can do about it. Those who merely endure are acted upon by the vicissitudes of life. Enduring well means actively responding. It means, as Joseph Smith explained, (in D&C section 123 verse 17) to “cheerfully do all things that lie in our power.” Our agency in life is always curtailed. Our influence is limited; our power pitifully finite; our options constrained. But our agency is never zero. Sometimes, it takes creativity and courage to discover what we can do, even if it’s not much. But shifting from a paradigm of helpless victimhood and passive suffering to one of active response to life’s heartache, unfairness, and misery is a fundamental key to enduring well, and possesses the power to change the way we live our lives.

Another is faith and trust in God. Because merely enduring is passive, it reveals nothing about who we are or what we believe. Enduring well implies a depth of hope, and trust in goodness. We do not know what lies ahead of us, or why we are struggling with the things we are struggling with (or even if there is a reason). But we can take comfort in knowing that God knows us, loves us, and knows our situation too. We are not suffering alone pain that no one can understand. It may not change our circumstances, or the suffering we feel, but it is empowering and encouraging to know that the height and breadth and depth of our mortal experience here on Earth is known and understood by someone.

If you trust God that this life is for our benefit, happiness, and, ultimately, our glory, then we can trust that “everything will work together for the good of those” who endure well. As God told Joseph (while he was in jail unjustly): “hold on thy way, and [I] shall remain with thee… Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not, for God shall be with you forever and ever.”

Patience is another key. And by patience, I don’t merely mean “waiting.” True patience means enduring delay without becoming angry. The man tapping his foot in line, muttering to all who would rather not hear about how busy and important he is, is most definitely not being patient. Patience means suppressing fear. It means resisting the temptation to react to life’s injustice bitterly, or resorting to vengeful feelings. It means not allowing life to tell you who you are, or turn you into someone you don’t want to be.

Lastly – and I warn you, this one is the hardest – enduring well means not letting it affect you. That’s right. The more we allow our trials to drag us down, the more we are merely enduring them. The more we press on, continuing to do good, to be who we are and want to be – then we are enduring well. Ultimately, the secret to enduring well is to remain cheerfully engaged with life. The best way to do this is to focus our thoughts, feelings, and attention outward towards others. The happiness we experience in this life is proportional to the number of people we reach out to, help, and connect with. The glory of our lives will be the quality of that impact, the depth of that connection.

Why should we endure well? It sounds like a lot of work. It sounds like denying ourselves of all our favorite reactions to adversity: self-pity, anger, revenge, bitterness, pouting. All of those help numb the pain, and we feel so justified in reacting that way. And maybe we are.

But if what you want is to be someone; if what you want is to beat life at its own game, then enduring well is what it’s all about. And the cool thing is this: when we endure well, we are immediately strengthened; the powers of right and goodness rush immediately and at one to our side. “In the soul of man there is a justice whose retributions are instant and entire. He who does a good deed is instantly ennobled. … If a man is at heart just, then… the majesty of God enters into that man with justice. … speak the truth, and all nature and all spirits help you with unexpected furtherance.”

At its heart, to endure well is to carry on, living who you are and want to be to the fullest – in the face of fear, in the face of uncertainty, in the teeth of pain and anguish and heartache. If you can revel in the glorious sunset after a stormy, rainy day, and know that the storm has not moved you – but rather, that through your noble endurance, something inside you has moved, has become firmer, has dropped into place – and you know now, better than ever before, who you are – then you will know what it means to endure well.