Crossing to the other side

Life is a tall mountain range. We are on one side, and where we want to go is on the other. Life is so much better on that side; it is there that true happiness awaits us.

On the one hand we know we aren’t truly satisfied with where we are now, but on the other hand the mountains are so high and the path over them so long and hard. Is it really worth it – all that effort? Can we really make it? Do we have the strength and perseverance to make it all the way over?

We’re all secretly afraid of starting out and making it a long way up, only to realize we don’t have don’t have what it takes to reach the other side after all. Because sometimes, when you’re on that trail, anything seems better than going further. Sometimes we feel certain that nothing on the other side could possibly be worth this pain, this sweat and these tears.

After all, this side isn’t so bad, really. I mean, sure, it isn’t exactly as great as what’s on the far side, where we would really like to be. But it’s not exactly terrible either. It’s kind of comfortable, to be honest. We’re not particularly happy over here, but we’re comfortable. And it sure is easier than trying to cross those insurmountable mountains.

And what’s happiness anyway? Has anyone actually experienced it? Is there anything qualitatively different over there than what I have right here and now?

I mean, who’s good enough to make it over those mountains anyway? Certainly not alone – no one could possibly make it alone. And even with someone else helping you there’s no guarantee you’ll make it. You know what? After all is said and done, I think I’d rather stay on this side, thanks. I’ll leave the heroism and the “true happiness” (whatever that even means) to other people. Meanwhile, I’ll be enjoying my unhappy yet completely comfortable life right where I am now.

That’s the kicker. We fear losing comfort; we fear pain, disappointment, hardship, heartache. And we let those fears decide for us. Above all, though, we fear failure. We don’t want to come up against the limits of our ability, our strength, our goodness, and realize just how weak and ignoble we are. As long as life is comfortable and doesn’t make any real demands of us, we can go on giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt: assuming we’re better than we really are.

Growing hurts. Learning often comes with an ample dose of pain. Trying often leads to failing. Especially when we try to do it alone. But anything that is truly worthwhile is on the other side of those mountains. And don’t think that this an unfortunate coincidence. It’s that way by law of nature. Only after the climb are the views spectacular.

Wherever it is you would rather be, are you willing to give up your comfortable life to get there? Is the happiness worth the discomfort, the frustration, the unfairness, the pain? Are you worried you’ll fail?

My advice: give it everything you’ve got – literally everything – and don't give up. Oh, and one more thing: don’t do it alone.